Armchair Talking Head

All is not Well in the Auburn Nation
May 29, 2008, 10:06 pm
Filed under: Miscellany | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

You might have recently seen pictures of Tommy Tuberville in Iraq spending some time with American troops.  Kudos to Tommy for supporting our men and women.  Hell I even appreciate the premature 7th finger he held up in a picture while there.  Anything for the troops right?

But while Tubs is rallying the troops abroad, the troops down on the Plains have fallen on hard times.  And by troops, I mean Bobby Lowder and his Colonial Bank.  The Auburn Trustee, and de facto ruler of all things Auburn Athletics owns the lion’s share of shares in Colonial Bank which has seen its stock plummet over the past year.  Colonial BancGroup reached its 52 week high of 25.50 on July 3rd of ’07, and by yesterday reached a 52 week low of 5.55.  If you’re keeping score at home, after today’s close at 5.94, Lowder (7.7 Million Shares) has himself lost over 150 Million dollars in stock value, by my amateur estimation.

Lowder was to fund a large portion of the new basketball arena to be built in Auburn.  One now has to wonder if that is in jeopardy.

The bigger question is this.  Does the demise of Bobby Lowder signal the end of an era of meddling in all things Auburn?  Does it signal the end of Lowder’s personal tapping and dethroning of Auburn football coaches?  Does it finally signal the end of the reign of Pat Dye?  Perhaps.

Don’t count them out yet, though.  Lowder and Colonial Bank’s fate is far from sealed, and according to this Birmingham News article Colonial is seeking legal remedies against the short selling that is purported to be a major factor in the downturn of the company’s stock.

All is not well in the Auburn Nation as we know it, and that may be music to Tommy Tuberville’s gigantic ears.  However, the fact that a very real threat to the once iron-clad power structure at Auburn is upon us might be in the School Down the Road’s best interest.

Here we were thinking Lowder and the boys would be tapdancing on Tubs’ grave by December, and it very well could be the other way around…

The “Rodeo Clown” is BACK

In local politickin’ news, Winston County’s favorite son and 2002 Democratic Gubernatorial Candidate Mark “Rodeo Clown” Townsend is back in action.  He now goes by Mark “NO NCAA” Townsend, and this time he’s squaring off against Vivian Figures in the Democratic Primary for U.S. Senate.  This is the man who in his bid for Governor wanted to build a replica of Noah’s Ark at Looney’s Tavern in Double Springs.

His new campaign website, tactfully named is an absolute riot.  In 8 pages of “campaign material” he accuses Karl Rove of stealing his dog that was to sire a puppy for Don Siegelman, espouses extensively his hatred for the NCAA (can’t say that I totally disagree with him here, but it ain’t your mama’s Senatorial campaign plank), challenges State Senator Charles Bishop to a fight, and introduces his campaign manager Sexy Rexy Robbins.  Why is Sexy Rexy qualified to run a Senatorial Campaign you ask?  Well that’s easy.  According to Townsend’s site, Sexy Rexy once knocked a buzzard from the sky with a golf ball!  In Class 4A Region 8 news, Sexy Rexy once sold popcorn for the Haleyville Lions, but the evil Republicans accused Sexy Rexy of theft *gasp*.  Sexy Rexy is now a Deshler fan, and wears a crusty hat to prove it.

Townsend has posted Sexy Rexy’s phone number on his site.  I’m seriously considering requesting an interview.

I am also proud to give my unconditional endorsement to Mark “Rodeo Clown, NO NCAA” Townsend in the June Democrat Primary.  As a Republican, I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have to play Don Quixote to Jefferson Beauregard Sessions.

Dwight K. Schrute: Fine Art Dealer

It turns out, my favorite character from my favorite TV show, The Office’s very own Dwight Schrute, is a fine art dealer.

Dwight aka Rainn Wilson owns a company with his father called Wilson and Son Fine Art where they peddle contemporary and 20th Century art.

You can peruse their website and have your very own masterpiece from Dunder-Mifflin Scranton Assistant Regional Manager, Dwight K. Schrute!

Memorial Day Round-Up

Although I am quite confident no veterans read this lowly blog, thanks anyway for kicking ass so we don’t have to.

And now, complete randomness:

  • Bama Baseball did in fact make the NCAA Tournament field.  The Tide will play Eastern Carolina on Friday at 6pm in Conway, South Carolina, the home of the Regional host Coastal Carolina who will play Columbia (Columbia? WTF?) in the opening round.
  • My beloved Redbirds are still amazingly hanging in there in the NL Central.  After taking 2 of 3 from the Dodgers, they’re just a 1/2 game out of 1st place.  Que Cubbie meltdown in 3…2…1…
  • The Mets suck, but Willie Randolph is still the manager.  For now…
  • If anyone cares, the UA Softball team is going to the College World Series.  I only know this because when checking on the status of the baseball team’s NCAA hopes, a preemptive screen blared this fact out to me.
  • I would like to warn those of you who are enticed by the new Gatorade G2 commercials to not drink this unadulterated piss water.  I have never actually consumed piss, but I’m sure that it can’t be any worse than Gatorade G2.
  • My hatred of all things Boston is well documented, but is there a more annoying chant in sports today than “DEEEEE-TROIT BAS-KET-BALLLLLLLLL!”?  I think not.

Enjoy the short work week, suckas.

MLB Instant Replay

Instituting an instant replay process in Major League Baseball is all the rage as of late.  Several botched home run calls, and the media are shitting their collective pants.  There are two schools of thought here.

One in opposition to replay arguing that baseball has been played since the 1800’s.  Why would we need replay now?  The other being in favor citing that when we have the ability to get almost every call correct, why wouldn’t we?

Well, if you expect to carry into the future, as with anything, you must adapt with new technologies in order to remain relevant.  Basketball, and football have done it while maintaining the integrity of the game. Frankly, in this day and age where we have video cameras spied on every square inch of a ball park, the thought of a home run call being botched is ridiculous.  However, we tread on dangerous ground if instant replay permeates every facet of the game.  I can see the use of instant replay being useful in home run calls, and perhaps game altering safe/out calls like Matt Holliday’s slide in the NLCS last year, but in reality why is a run in the 9th inning any more important than a run in the 3rd?  That argument just doesn’t fly.  It goes without saying that an implementation of replay in determining balls and strikes is out of the question, and to review every disputed base call would take an already excruciatingly long game to unwatchable.

The vast majority of home run calls are correctly made, especially after a conference between the entire crew.  The recent uproar of support for instant replay is a prime example of the rampant media sensationalism that I love to hate.  I’m willing to offer up the occasional botched call rather than heading down the slippery slope of instant replay that would make an already long game longer and turn America’s past time into Big Brother: MLB.

And as Rick Morrissey points out (via SbB), we’d all rather see an Ozzie Guillen or Lou Piniella explode in an Ump’s face rather than lightly tossing a red flag onto the field.

The Tide Keeps Rolling…
May 24, 2008, 7:19 pm
Filed under: The Tide | Tags: , ,

After a nice outing by Del Howell on the mound yesterday and a more than ample supply of hitting, Alabama topped Kentucky 13-4 in the SEC Baseball Tournament.

The Tide is about to play LSU right now for the right to play LSU again at 8pm. The winner of this potential doubleheader will play the winner of the the 5pm Vandy-Ole Miss game. Vandy just beat Ole Miss 7-4 for the right to play them again.

See Slive? This double elimination shit is too fucking confusing. I’m not an expert on the NCAA Tournament field, but I’d have to think that making it this far into the SEC Tourney bodes very well for Bama’s hopes of gaining a bid.



The Tide, after jumping out to a lead, fell after an LSU Grand Slam in the 8th Inning.  The Tigers tried to give us that game with error after error, but in the end, our pitching just wasn’t up to par.

This Weekend in Sports

The Memorial Day Weekend will be laden with sports action.  Here’s what we’ve got:

  • The SEC Baseball Tournament is still going on over in Hoover.  Despite Finebaum’s dubbing of the tourney as irrelevant, it’s still a great event.  Alabama will face Kentucky again today at 6:30pm, sadly, I’ll have to catch this one on CSS.
  • The Coca-Cola 600 is set to run Sunday in Charlotte, NC with Kyle Busch *boo hiss* on the pole.  I guess now is as good of a time as any to come out of the NASCAR closet, so to speak.  I used to loathe the sport, seeing it as an exclusively redneck affair.  While it is definitely an exercise in “redneckdom” for many fans, I’ve grown to appreciate the sport for the science and skill its drivers possess.  FYI, thus far my two favorite drivers are Tony Stewart and Juan Pablo Montoya.  Go ahead and hate on me for it, but at least I’m not a “wrasslin'” fan like my homeboy Slade.
  • If open-wheel is your cup of tea, then the Indianapolis 500 runs Sunday at Noon.
  • The weekend is chocked full of NBA Conference Finals action with the Spurs and Lakers facing off in Game 2 tonight,and  Game 3 Sunday, while the Pistons and Celtics go at it Saturday in Game 3 and Monday in Game 4.

Have a safe and enjoyable Memorial Day weekend.  I’ll be poppin’ bottles somewhere in the Greater T-Town area.  Hit me up…